Things That Make You Go Blah
by Pythia
Summary: Too much Nickelodeon... I wrote this a few... decades ago... actuall a few months/weeks. I don't really know... This is rated PG13 for cuss words, and kinda heavy shounen ai.


Very OOC characters (especially Quatre. I mean, would he EVER introduce somebody as sexy or hunky? I can understand Duo, he's bi and is in love with Heero, but QUATRE?! I can understand that he has a relationship with Trowa, but the attitude here just doesn't fit.). Anyway, why are Gundam characters the hosts? 'CUZ I'M THE AUTHOR AND I SAY SO!!!  
  
Standard disclaimers apply.  
  
Things that Make you go Blah   
  
Welcome to… Triple Dare 3000!!!!  
Duo: Ready!  
Quatre: Set!  
Heero: -_- go…  
Duo: Heero! You're ruining the spirit of the show!!!  
Heero: Does anybody care?  
Quatre: If you two keep starting off our shows with arguments, then we won't get anywhere…  
Duo: Alright, alright. I'll introduce the first team, the Weiß  
Duo: First, the ever so cute and adorable Omi!  
Omi: *smiles and waves at the audience*  
Duo: The cool and kawaii soccer-player Ken!  
Ken: *grins at the crowd*  
Duo: The calm, collect, anti-smile and handsome Aya!  
Aya: *does nothing*  
Duo: ^^;;;; ummm… ok… And lastly, the casanova with the looks and the style, Yohji! even though I'm a much better flirt than him...  
Yohji: *blows kisses at the audience*  
Duo: So, anyway, now to introduce the Schwarz! Quatre?  
Quatre: right! We have the VERY good-looking Nagi!  
Nagi: *nods towards the audience*  
Quatre: The totally attractive and hunky Brad!  
Brad: *waves at the spectators*  
Quatre: The sick and sexy fiery-haired Schuldich!  
Schuldich: *does censored stuff for his fans*  
Quatre: O.o  
Quatre: A-and the masochistic, yet kawaii psychopath, Farfarello!  
Farfarello: *is being restrained by Schuldich from throwing knives at the audience*  
Quatre: ^^;;;; Heero? Please dictate the rules.  
Heero: Win.  
Quatre: HEERO!!!  
Duo: He has a point, y'know…  
Quatre: -_-() Ok, You answer the questions that I give you. You get money for each correct answer. If you cannot answer, you can dare the other team to answer. If they can't answer, they can double dare you, for twice as much money. If you can't answer again, you can triple dare them, for thrice as much money. If they can't answer, they have to take the Physical Challenger2©™®. If they can't finish the Physical Challenger2©™® in the allotted time, the money goes to you. But, when asked a question, only on person, chosen by us, is permitted to answer. And when you have chosen the Physical Challenger©™®, all members of the team will join. Understand?  
Omi: You're confusing…  
Aya: … Were you saying something?  
Ken: Is 'yes' the right answer?  
Yohji: I need to stuff my baggage into somebody's compartment…  
Quatre: *???* O-ok, I guess that means yes… Schwarz?  
Nagi: Omi-kun…  
Brad: You don't make any sense.  
Schuldich: My dick is *HUGE*!!!!  
Duo and Heero: *snickers at Quatre's horrified look*  
Farfarello: Blood tastes like rusted metal… Delicious.  
Heero and Duo: true.  
Quatre: O.o ~horror of horrors~  
Duo: Since Quatre can't speak just yet, I will explain, in an understandable way, what he has said. You get money when you win. You win by answering questions or by finishing the Physical Challenger2©™®. Only one person, chosen by us, can answer at a time. All team members will do the Physical Challenger©™® together. Get it?  
Omi: Oh!  
Aya: …  
Ken: The answer is yes!!! Where's my money?!  
Quatre: ^^;;;; Not yet!  
Yohji: Schuldich has a sexy body…  
Quatre: You people are so disgusting!!!  
Duo: They make a good couple.  
Yohji: Really?  
Duo: yup.  
Quatre: Skip it. Schwarz? Do you get what Duo said?  
Nagi: Even though Heero's explanation what much easier to understand, yes.  
Brad: *nods*  
Schuldich: I WANT YOHJI'S BAG IN MY COMPARTMENT!!!  
Quatre: *blink*  
Duo: Homo?  
Heero: Homo.  
Farfarello: *Is busy chewing on the mike given to him*  
Duo: How about we just start and get over with it! I still need to watch my dearest Heero strip for me…  
Quatre: Fine.  
Quatre: Question #1, for $25, Farfarello, what is the largest planet in our Solar System?   
Farfarello: *slurp, slurp*  
Quatre: Farfarello?  
Farfarello: Blood.  
Quatre: Wrong.   
***$25 ring up on Weiß's score board***  
Duo: Question #2, for $25, goes to Weiß. What is the life span of a pill bug, Omi-kun?  
Omi: 2 days.  
Duo: Correct.  
***The $25 on Weiß's board changes to $50***  
Heero: $25. Weiß. What do you call the hole on the top of a volcano? Yohji.  
Yohji: condom.  
Heero: Wrong. *crumples question card and throws it at Yohji's face* Here Dumbo, study.  
Duo: $25 question for Schwarz. What does HTML stand for? Nagi?  
Nagi: hyper-text mark language.  
Duo: Right!  
***$25 ring up on Schwarz's score board***  
Omi: *pout* That was soooooo easy…  
Heero: $25. Schwarz. Schuldich, what is a nybble, n-y-b-b-l-e?  
Omi and Nagi: !!! It's a… !!!  
Heero: Shut your traps or I bop you one.  
Omi: ;_;  
Nagi: shit.  
Heero: you too.  
Schuldich: What a mouse does?  
Heero: wrong. *turns question card into a ball and tossed it at Schuldich's nose* Try computer technology next time you visit college.  
Duo: Gee, no one likes double daring…  
***$75 rings on Weiß's score board***  
Quatre: For $25, Ken, what is a 'software'?  
Omi and Nagi: *are about to scream the answer*  
Heero: *glares at them*  
Omi and Nagi: *shut up*  
Ken: "Hmmm… A pillow, maybe?"  
Ken: dare!  
Quatre: Schuldich?  
Schuldich: double dare.  
Ken: triple dare!  
Schuldich: quadruple dare!!  
Quatre: There *IS* no quadruple dare.  
Schuldich: *blink* Quintuple dare?  
Quatre: No, you either forfeit, or take the Physical Challenger©™® with your team.  
Schuldich: Physical Challenger©™®!!!!  
Duo: Alrighty! They picked the PHYSICAL CHALLENGER©™®!!!  
Quatre: Please step out onto the middle of the stage.  
Schwarz: *go to the middle of the stage*  
Quatre: Ok, the object is to hit the moving picture of Manx with at least 2 cream pies. Each of you get only 1 pie, so you only have 4 chances. If you miss, then green goo is poured all over you. When that happens, you are out of the challenge. Ok?  
Schwarz: *all nod*  
Quatre: You get $50 if you win. You have 30 seconds! START!!!  
Nagi: *is about to throw pie*  
***a picture of Omi pops out from nowhere***  
Nagi: *throws pie at wrong angle after seeing Omi's picture*  
Nagi: *misses Manx's picture* Damn.  
***green goo pours on Nagi***  
Duo: Did we mention the pictures/objects popping up and trying to distract you?  
Nagi: ~growling~ No… *walks back to his seat and to watch the rest of his pie-throwing team.*  
Farfarello: *stuffs the pie into his mouth* ~muffled~ blood…  
Farfarello: *Is about to stuff another pie into his mouth*  
Schuldich: *slips on a pie, falls over and slams into Farfarello*  
Farfarello: *pie flies out of his hand* *pie hits Manx's picture*  
Schuldich: YES!!!!  
Clock: 5…  
Clock: 4…  
Brad: *throws his pie* *it hits Manx's face*  
Clock: 1… 0… BEEP!!!!  
Schuldich: *wraps arms around Brad's neck* Oh Braaaaaaad… You are soooooooooo good at this!!!  
Brad: Let go.  
Schuldich: *pouts*   
Quatre: The Schwarz have finihed the Physical Challenger©™®!!! They get $50 dollars!  
***Schwarz's score board now read $75***  
Duo: They are tied with Weiß. Now, off to round 2! Heero?  
Heero: I don't really care abo—  
Duo: HEERO!!!!  
Heero: Aya and Brad are going to have a face off. Whoever can say the right answer first will earn $10 for their team. Say the wrong answer, the $10 will go to the enemy.  
Quatre: enemy?  
Heero: enemy.  
Duo: Aya, Brad, will you please step up here.  
Aya and Brad: *step up onto FaceOff~Platform©™®*  
Quatre: Let's begin.  
Quatre: What is copralite?  
Brad: …  
Aya: …  
Quatre: you're supposed to answer.  
Brad: fossilized shit.  
Quatre: ^^;;; right…  
***Schwarz: $85***  
Quatre: What is a tiger's scientific name?  
Aya: Panthera Tigris.  
Quatre: correct.  
***Weiß: $85***  
Quatre: What is th—  
***building begins to crumble***  
off-screen voice: ~growling~ How dare you…  
***camera shifts***  
Nagi: *glaring at Yohji who is kissing a terrified Omi* HOW DARE YOU!!!  
***building fragments start to rain on Yohji***  
Yohji: uh-oh… *runs out of the building with Aya, Ken, Brad, Farfarello, Schuldich, and game show hosts*  
Audience: *screams and runs for their lives as structure starts to disintegrate*  
Nagi: *cools down when everybody has gone*  
Nagi: *walks to Omi*   
Nagi: *takes Omi in his arms*  
Nagi: *kisses Omi*  
Omi: *hugs Nagi*  
Nagi: *Glares at camera which is still intact* Get lost, b••••!  
***camera instantly shuts down***  
Nagi: Good.  
Nagi: *starts f•••ing Omi*  
  
~OWARI~  
***  
Quatre: How come Wufei and Trowa aren't hosts?  
Duo: *smirks* I heard they were making out...  
Quatre: O.o Duo!!!! You're mean! They.. He would never! make out?! I mean... *zero system kicks in* *is very enraged*  
Duo: *is now being chased in SD form by a very nasty-looking Quatre*  
Quatre: DDDDUUUUUOOOOO!!!!!!  
Duo: *jumps into Heero's arms before Quatre can do any other drastic thing*  
Heero: *takes Duo into a safe room while Quatre goes home to his beloved Trowa (zero system wore off quickly...)*  
Quatre: *hears moans and groans, coming from the room Heero and Duo are in, as he leaves*  
  
  
  



End file.
